The Great M'era Luna Write Up Post 2011

Oh dear, I am a lazy arse aren't I? It's been six months since I posted anything, and nearly a year since I posted anything substantial. My excuse is there was college, and then there was work, and then there was more college and then there was weddings and then there was laziness and then there was Hellsing Ultimate 8 and... oh well. Anyway, ignore all that, because I'm recently back from sitting in a German airfield in the rain with 20,000 goths. Yes, it's M'era Luna time again, and with M'era Luna comes the obligatory hideous write-up, with all the usual horrible photos and now with horrible video too.

The North bus, also known as "home"

As with last year, I was with the wonderful (read, mad) Goths on a Bus. I joined the North bus (I still don't know why I end up on the North bus despite living on the South coast, but hey ho) at Watford with a bunch of others and a few cans of Hobgoblin. Unfortunately the beer soon ran out, and, rather more worryingly, we missed our Eurotunnel train so we were stuck at Folkestone for four hours with nothing but a bar, a childrens' play area and a lot of scary squaddies. Naturally I got tipsy and clambered around on a climbing frame in my platform New Rocks.

Eventually we managed to get onto a train (by which time it was dawn) and onto the continent, getting stuck in every flavour of traffic on the way. By the time we reached Hildesheim, it was three in the afternoon and there was no time for the usual stop-off at the supermarket. The South coach had already been at the site for several hours and had saved just enough space for the rest of us to pitch camp (and I still can't properly pitch my tent). There was just time for beer (provided by those kind souls from the South coach), bratwurst and general mooching about before tiredness got the better of me.

I got up unfeasably early on the Saturday morning to go to the supermarket and collect supplies. And by supplies I mean...

(pic ganked from Jamie's pictures on facebook. Sorry Jamie!)

Those kegs, incidentally, are bloody heavy. And I am bloody feeble. Anyway. After acquiring boozy goodness there was just time for coffee (thanks to Big Alan's supply of proper coffee and Mr Sticks' magic jet boiler) before making our way down to the festival area. The queues were longer than last year and security was making a song and dance about searching everyone, but the "no camera" rule didn't seem to apply to anyone without changeable lenses so there wasn't any bother. The first band I caught was Omnia, a suitably nutty neo-folk outfit who won awesome-points for having a telescopic didgeridoo (which I don't have any photos of because I am rubbish, I may have to gank one from someone less rubbish than me). They were pretty catchy and I'll definitely look into getting some of their songs, just to see what they're like on record, but I was slightly distracted by the Sonic Seducer stall (those free tote bags come in handy, and they had dvds with clips from last year's festival so I neeeeeeded those). 

Next up were Qntal, who were supposed to be on last year but weren't. They... weren't really my thing, folky and ethereal but a leeetle too metally for my liking, but their singer, a very enthusiastic lady with drapey sleeves, had a beautiful voice. One of those bands were I could see (or rather hear) the skill in it, but not really to my tastes.

Qntal. Look, my pictures this year actually look like human beings! Also, check out her sleeves! Layers of draped sleeves. That's class, that is.

After them were Leaves' Eyes, a metal band I remember liking way back in the days when I bought Metal Hammer and had no taste. They weren't great, not to my taste anymore, but again, the singer had a lovely voice (and a lovely velvet frock). I was disappointed that they didn't do the one song I remember, but hey, you can't have it all.

Next up were Mesh, a British synthpop band who sound like how Depeche Mode would have done if they got stompier instead of gloomier. They weren't bad, I rather liked them, but visually nothing special, so no pictures, alas. 

After then, the main stage caught a serious case of the sillies, and this is where I start needing my thesaurus because I'm going to run out of synonyms for "bonkers". The next band was Equilibrium a cardboard cutout metal band with big hair, big stances, big growls and big riffs, who put me into giggling fits when I realised one of their riffs was the theme from Pirates of the Caribbean. Really.

Just when I thought I couldn't laugh at a band any more, on come Blutengel, a German electro-goth band who like to pretend they're vampires. They were absolutely nuts; their stage show schtick is to mime and do bizarre choregraphed routines involving girls in bikinis and lots of fire. I definitely had a good giggle when they were on.

Blutengel and fire...

...and giving their bikini-clad dancing girls showers of fake blood that looked like raspberry juice. They had Isis wings at one point. Oh and those crosses had giant Catherine wheels on them too. Like I said, bonkers.

Things got a little less silly (only a little) with Apocalyptica, who were wonderful. Cheerful shirtless Finnish guys who do metal with cellos (although honestly, if you haven't heard them by now you must have been living in a cave. Or the mainstream). They won extra points for finishing with a version of In the Hall of the Mountain King which could only have been more awesome if they'd done the vocal bit (I do love a bit of Grieg, me). 

Look video. Look at me with my technology. Yeah. Look there's more.

And there are pictures too... Oooh pictures

There's something oddly erotic about cellos, don't you think? I think it must be the stance...

After they finished, there was a short wait before my band-of-the-festival, ASP. I've got to be honest I wasn't overly familiar with the vast majority of the band line-up this year (honestly, I get VNV Nation mixed up with somebody else, I'm hopeless) but I do like ASP and I was really excited to see them, I'd heard exciting things about their pyrotechnics. And my gods, did they have pyros! Lines of fire along the edge of the stage behind the monitors, eight jumping jets of flame, huge plumes of sparks, and, possibly my favourite stage thing ever, the glitter cannon, which looks like this:

and does this

Yup. Great cascades of little shreds of paper jettisoned into the air and raining down over the festival site. Stunning. So, yeah, ASP. They were great. Mad as a box of frogs, but great. And, my gods, but does that man have a pair of lungs on him! What a voice! They played some killer tracks, including a blinding cover of Temple of Love that was considerably better than the version the Sisters did last year, and the phenomenally catchy Sing Child, which has been stuck in my head ever since. Here are some more pictures of things on fire.

After ASP was Within Temptation but I was tired, and to be honest I'm not a fan. She's got a great voice but their symphonic metally schtick is dull to my mind. So instead I headed back to the tents to enjoy some first rate silliness courtesy of Messrs Paul, Paul and John. I won't go into details here (some level of dignity needs preserving and this is a public blog) but it involved foreheads, eyeliner, and large quantities of rum.

There was one final treat in store for Saturday night, however. The Goths on a Bus gazebo was treated to a private, acoustic performance from Dyonisus, whose members happened to be travelling with us. They're fabulous: ethereal, slightly folky ballads with stunning vocals. Here's their site. Go on, check them out, I'll wait for you. Had a look? Good. Anyway, they were so impressive they had quite a crowd of German passers-by and security guards stopping to listen. This small crowd swiftly looked baffled and disappeared when the ever-dapper Simon (of Rome Burns, but I'm sure if you're reading this you know them) got up and did the Dog Song though. I'm not sure the Dog Song translates well into German. It's bad enough in English. (If you've not heard it... it's painfully funny and utterly filthy. There's a line about "giving the dog a bone". Yeah.)

The next morning it was another early start. And a very soggy start, as it was absolutely hammering it down. I felt really sorry for all the beautifully dressed people having to wriggle into plastic macks and hide under their ever-so-ironic bat umbrellas. You had to feel for the bands too, there were some absolutely excellent bands on that morning and the poor buggers had to cope with depleted, soggy audiences. The Beauty of Gemina were one such band; a brilliant goth rock group who really should have been further up the bill, they were one of the best acts of the festival. If you haven't heard them and you're into your old-school gothiness, check them out, they had a slightly Nephilim-y, Xymox-y, Diary of Dreams-y thing going on. Bless them, they coped fairly well with the atrocious weather; advising their audience to dance with their umbrellas and suchlike.

Yep, despite the fact the singer looks like an anime version of Boris Johnson, they sound amazing.

I didn't catch much of the next band, Coma Divine, I was too busy getting myself a rain poncho because my cheap umbrella was leaking. I did, however, catch the part where the awning over the stage split and the lead guitarist had to leap back to prevent himself becoming part of a gothy fountain. It was a little scary, water and electrics don't tend to mix, but credit where it's due they carried on playing and finished their set. 

After more than a little frantic mending, Coppelius scampered onto the slippery stage and spent the next 45 minutes running around the stage dressed in full steampunk regalia, being generally nutty with cellos and clarinets. I couldn't understand a word they were singing, but they had enough charisma, props and sheer insanity to make up for it. I particularly liked the Victorian camera that they used to "take photos" of the crowd, it even had a puff of smoke. I am definitely getting their albums. They got extra points for having a record of Anitra's Dance playing as their roadies packed away all their ephemera, it was definitely a Greig-y sort of weekend.

 Coppelius and a crowd of wet goths.

Coppelius doing their natty Victoriana thing

Puddles and Goths. Goths and Puddles.

After Coppelius finished, I was too tired and too wet to bother with the stompy synth stylings of Mono Inc, who weren't bad, but didn't grab me. So I made my way back to the beer tent and ended up having a brilliant conversation about how someone ought to do a "How to Look Goth Naked" parody video series. All we need now is a Goth Wan. Anyway, the stage was still not providing anything riveting, so it was time to wander around the stalls wishing I had more money...and more fingers to put rings on.

Mono Inc. Their singer had a snazzy coat.

I ended up back by the main stage just in time for the end of Tanzwut. I caught a bit of their set last year and they're best described as "explosions and bagpipes". Great fun, completely fruit and nuts. These German bands do love their explosions.

Tanzwut. Not pictured: explosions.

Up next was Project Pitchfork. Again, I'm hopeless, I'd heard of them, I was fairly sure I'd heard them, but I couldn't place them. A few tracks in, I knew exactly who they were. They were fun. A bit samey, but I find the bleepier stuff pretty same anyway. Still, like I said, they were fun and now I know who they are I can add the Pitchies to the list of bleepy-ish bands I actually like. 

How epic is my new camera (okay my dad's old camera, but whatever)? I was standing at the beer tent when I took this and you can still tell who it is.

This small child loved the Pitchies. He was trotting round and round in circles for nearly fifteen minutes with his little windmills whirling on his trolley-thing. That is one cool small child.

The last band I actually saw was VNV Nation, one of the many bands that I get confused about. Still, now I've seen them, I know who they are. I did feel a little silly, standing around going "oh this is VNV" when they were practically headlining. Someone take away my goth card! And, hurrah, another bleepy band I actually like. I don't know why but I was incredibly tired by the time they came on, so I only watched a couple of songs, but I heard they're whole set and they were great, very snappy banter too.

Pretty lights!

I might even have to go and see them do a proper show. Anyway, next on were Hurts who I've never heard of and didn't sound much from the mead tent, so eh, I dunno. From what I heard they were fairly bland indie rock stuff, nothing that indicated they should be headlining the festival. Still, they weren't horrible and they provided some fairly pleasant background noise to drink to. After slightly too much deadly gunfire tea, it was time for bed (honestly one of these years I'm going to do the whole clubbing-partying-drumming-on-beer-kegs thing, really I am). Demolishing camp took place far too early and was far too difficult, before we started the long journey back to the ch'unnel.

We're famous!

Unlike the journey out, we made very good time so we took a detour via this place

Yup. A chocolate factory that sells duty free. Heaven!

 We made it back to Watford long before midnight, and I was glad I had booked myself in at the Travelodge because the three hour train journey back to Portsmouth didn't sound too friendly. Also, Travelodges have doubles beds and baths. Baths! 

And here's all the stuff I managed to acquire (not including cigarettes, booze and bratwurst). I love my ASP cami.

Finally, let me say a big thank you to all the bus Goths for their company and for putting up with me again; to Ade for organising the damn thing; to Mr Sticks, Ork and the nefarious Doctor Garside for letting me lurk outside their tents and steal their rum; to the members of Dyonisus for the brilliant impromptu gig; to Simon for the Dog Song, and to our bus driver, Tom, for getting us all there and back again.

See you all next year!